How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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