apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
