The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
