Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
