where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
