What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
