could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
