3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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