4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
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