normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
two words: eviction party
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
