You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
