I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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