Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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