i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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