I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
