In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
