I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
