Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
