Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
