he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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