Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
