it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
