Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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