wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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