her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
