Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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