you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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