have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
