I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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