pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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