I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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