Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
