It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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