Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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