Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
