After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
is it fun? or sober?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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