Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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