Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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