I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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