How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
