Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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