I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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