How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
