He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
