Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
