come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
