I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have post one night stand depression
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
