They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Terrible idea I love it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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