If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
