my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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