At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
