quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
